Author's Note: Yeah, this is meant to be "funny" and to offend everyone so don't be offended. Just laugh it off.
Basically losers from the Victorious Wiki go to a Boarding School and most people don't know each other and stuff. Enjoy.
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Liz stepped out of her car and grabbed her bags and looked up at the brand new school in front of her. It was a fucking huge place with windows and doors and stuff. She dragged her bags behind her as she walked inside to go to the office and get the boring information she needed - such as class schedule, dorm room, and school map and stuff like that. She finally got that stuff and she headed towards the west wing where the girl's dorms were. She noticed how there were lots of stupid people wandering through the halls talking about how they were already lost and she could see some were trying to already make friends. What losers, she thought to herself. Her room was on the fourth floor so she decided to avoid losers and use the stairs rather than the elevator. Liz walked up the stairs humming some random country song. Then she heard footsteps. She stopped walking and looked up to see some weird black chick running down the stairs.
"Spider!" the girl screamed as she passed Liz. She kept going down the stairs and Liz watched her leave. She shook her head and kept going up the fucking stupid stairs to get to her bedroom so she could pop some popcorn, eat it, and go to sleep.
Liz finally reached her bedroom and opened the door with her key. There were two beds and the one farthest from the window already had stuff on it. So Liz happily took the window bed just like she wanted. She started to look for the popcorn so she could eat the popcorn because popcorn is yummy.
The door burst open and the same weird black chick was there, screaming about a spider. Liz ignored her and kept looking around for the popcorn. The black chick kept screaming about said spider and pointing at the wall. Liz groaned and looked around. She found a tissue box, grabbed one of the tissues inside, and went to the spider and picked it up with the tissue, making sure not to kill it. She opened the window in their room and flung the tissue out with the spider still in it.
"Now shut up or get the fuck out," she said to the black chick that was no longer screaming.
"You shut the fuck up and get the fuck out!" she replied back.
"No, you shut the fuck up and get the fuck out!"
This went on for a few more minutes before the door opened to reveal some old lady. "Are you two having a problem in here?" she asked, glaring them both down. "No!" they said at the same time. They then turned to glare at each other, mad that the other said the same thing at the same time.
"Good," the freaky old lady said. "I'm Mrs. Acula, the person in charge of girl's dorm rooms on this floor. I make sure everyone behaves themselves and does as they need to be doing or whatever." She looked at the two girls and sighed. "Get along." She walked away and there were heels clicking or something Idk.
The two girls then turned to glare at each other. "I'm Ciria," the black chick said in her totally ghetto voice.
"I'm Liz," the freaking pale white country hick replied. She crossed her arms and glared at the ghetto girl and watched her. "Is this your room?"
"Well duh. Is this yours?"
"Yeah."
"Greaaaaaaat," Ciria said. She turned around and flopped down on her bed. "Now go away."
"No, I'm popping some popcorn," Liz told her. She grabbed the bag of popcorn and shoved it in the microwave and started doing whatever.
"Can I have some?!" Ciria asked excitedly.
"No!!!!!!" Liz yelled at the top of her lungs. "Mine!"
"But I just want -"
"No popcorn for you! Only my popcorn! Mine mine mine!" Liz screamed.
The ghetto girl raised an eyebrow and nodded her head carefully. "Okaaaaay then." She turned away and took a nap then. Liz ate her popcorn and then took a nap herself.
Meanwhile in the East Wing where the boy's dorms were, there was something going on that this narrator doesn't feel like describing. But I guess you want to know anyways? Fine.
So like the guys discovered that there were more girls in this school than guys because girls like boarding schools and guys don't. There was also this one guy that some of the other guys didn't like and 87.3% of the girls liked and that one guy was Marco - also known as Marco Polo to some people who are lame. He was too nice or something idk. He was also a senior so he was boring. He shared a room with that Kris dude and they seemed to argue with each other a lot. There was also someone who got on Marco's last nerves. That was Zach - a sophomore who also went by the name Zachy or Zachria or Zacharia or Zachie. Marco hated My Little Pony but for some reason, Zachria liked it. Not even the girls really liked MLP so no one could understand why he liked it but that doesn't really matter for this chapter. So blah blah. The guys were just busy sleeping in their beds and doing nothing. Blah blah.
Now, in the North Wing, the Freshman peoples were getting a little tour of the place. A little girl named Gareema was following the person in charge - some senior girl named CeeCee who was uberly nice or something. She was staring at a picture on the wall when another girl ran into her. "Hey!" the girl said in annoyance.
"So sorry! I was admiring this picture on the wall!" Gareema said, motioning towards the picture. The other girl smiled and nodded her head.
"Oh! It's okay! I like that picture too so I forgive you! And I should have been watching out for you rather than admiring the floor," the girl said. She grinned and put her hand out. "I'm Emily!"
"I'm Gareema," Gareema - obviously - said. The two girls then became BFFLs and loved each other and stuff and even better - they discovered they were roommates! How freaking exciting!
As they toured the fucking huge school, the two girls skipped along everywhere together - arm in arm. They were like skipping through daisies but they were actually skipping through a boring hallway. For the few Freshman boys in the tour, they went to the boy's dorm so the boys could know where shit was. As they walked, Gareema saw a cute boy and she totally almost fainted. "Did you see him?" she whispered over to Emily, glancing back at said cute boy.
"I see lots of guys," Emily replied. "So you'll have to specify which one."
"That one," Gareema said, still looking back at him. "With his brown hair - no wait, dirty blonde hair. And eyes. And a face. He's so cute!"
Emily glanced back and saw the boy and grinned. "I think he's a little too old for you Gareema," Emily told her, shaking her head but still smiling all the while. "But whatever. YOLO."
The two girls giggled like silly school girls - oh wait, they are school girls. Anyways, they kept going through with the tour when another Freshman boy skipped over to them. "Hey, gorgeous girls!" he said grinning at them.
"Hi!" Emily said happily.
"Hey," Gareema said, a stupid grin on her face as she thought about the cute boy they had passed in the hall. The Freshman boy thought the lovestruck look on her face was because of him, so he immediately started flirting with her.
"I'm Clifford," he said to her. He linked his arm in hers and grinned. "And you are?"
"Gareema," she said. She sighed a little from the thought of the cute boy. "I'm Emily!" Emily said, staring at the floor to admire the pretty tiles. "Cool," he said, staring at Gareema like a lovestruck puppy.
Another girl showed up looking slightly sad and annoyed at everything. "Hey!" Emily said happily to the girl. The girl glanced up and looked around, then back at her.
"Hi?" she responded.
"I'm Emily!" Emily said excitedly.
"Yeah, well, I'm Nikki," the girl said, looking away.
"Oh cool! I like that name! Do you like admiring floors?"
Nikki raised an eyebrow at the weirdness. "Um... no... I'm more into admiring windows..."
"Oh that's cool!"
"Yeah..."
Anyways, Mini was skipping through the halls to the boys wing. She saw her roommate - CeeCee - giving a tour to all the new freshies. "Hey, kids!" she said happily. She blew kisses at them because she was being overly cheerful and she continued on towards the boys wing. She then found herself in front of Marco and Kris's room and knocked on the door. The door opened and Kris was standing there. "Where's Marco?" she asked, peering into the room.
"I don't know," he answered. He shut the door on her and she stuck her tongue out and then skipped around looking for Marco.
"Marcooo!" she yelled as she skipped around.
"Hey," Marco said appearing at of fucking nowhere because that's how he rolls. Mini squealed and ran over to Marco and gave him a giant hug and quick kiss on the cheek. "Hey!" she said happily. "I was looking for you."
"I know."
Mini smiled and kissed him on the cheek again. She grabbed onto his hand and started skipping down the hall while he just walked with her. They kept walking and passed the freshies again. She went over to CeeCee and smiled. "Hey, CeeCee," Mini said to her roommate and friend. "Can Marco and I go hang out in our room?"
CeeCee groaned. "Whatever. Just be good. Don't do anything."
Mini laughed and smacked CeeCee on the shoulder playfully. "No promises!" Mini looked over at the freshman watching the three seniors and she grinned. "I'm Mini!" she told them, smiling. "I'm a blogger by the way. If you want, I can give you the link to my blog so you can check it out! It's amazing!" She smiled at them all and they all looked at each other.
Then she noticed a little girl in the back glaring at her. She raised an eyebrow at the girl - unknowing to who she was. She was going to ask, but decided not to. This girl was, of course, Gareema who was totes jealous.
Mini shrugged mentally and skipped off with Marco in tow to her room. They got to her and CeeCee's room and she glanced around, making sure the creepy old Mrs. Acula didn't show up. She opened the door and shoved Marco inside and then went in herself, locking the door. She glanced over at Marco and ran over and tackled him onto her bed and then they started making out because that's what teenagers do. Blah blah. You know what should happen next. Then the dorm room opened and an angry Mrs. Acula stood there, glaring at them both.
"Get out right now!" she yelled at Marco who totally wasn't wearing a shirt now because teenagers like stripping.
Mini grumbled and watched as Marco left. "Bye!" she said, waving at him. "See you later, alligator!" She blew him a kiss and then fell back onto her bed, awaiting the punishment the crazy old woman was about to give to her.
"You know the rules, Mini," Mrs. Acula told her. "You're not supposed to bring boys to your dorm room."
"We were going to play checkers!"
Mrs. Acula shook her head and walked away, forgetting to give the girl a punishment because she be tres stupid - tres is supposed to have a little thingy over the e but this writer is too lazy to do that and tres also means very in French.
Mini laughed loudly, glad to know that she didn't have to get a punishment for almost screwing her boyfriend. She then started rolling around the bed, clinging to her sides and stuff. I'm gonna die laughing hahahahahah, she thought to herself.
Meanwhile in the main hall, a few sophomores were gathered together and were being weirdoes. One of those weirdoes was a little girl named Graceyn who was totally in love with horses and she would so marry one. She was talking to a group of sophomore girls and discussing who was roommates with who. Graceyn looked at the gray sheet of people in her hands and said Jaeda was her roomie. A girl named Jaeda started laughing and waving her hand saying that was her. The two girls squealed and totally started hugging each other like the weirdoes they are.
Shanie, Cray, and Fiona stood there staring at the two girls who were being weird and then turned to look at each other. "I'm Cray," Cray said, holding her hand out for one of them to shake. Fiona rolled her eyes and Shanie smiled and shook her hand.
"I'm Shanie," she said with a huge grin on her face. "I'm British. I think."
"You think?" Fiona asked, rolling her eyes.
"Yeah, I think," she responded. "I like ceilings."
"Shat ap," Fiona said in a weird accent no one except her had.
"And who are you?" Cray asked Fiona - unknowing to who she was because they weren't on a first name basis yet.
"Does it matter?" Fiona asked.
Cray nodded her head.
"Fine. I'm Fiona but don't call me that because it's a stupid name. I'm FO. That's Eff-Oh," Fiona said.
"That's... weird..." Cray said, raising an eyebrow.
"Yes because Cray is a totally normal name," Fiona replied back. She walked away from the group to go be weird somewhere else.
"Who's your roommate?" Cray asked Shanie.
Shanie shrugged. "Fiona over there... Or um, Eff-Oh."
"Aw phoey!" Cray yelled loudly - a little too loudly. "I wanna be your roommate!"
"Who's yours?"
"I don't know. Some chick named... Carlaay? What kind of name is that? Carlaay. Who names their kid that? I don't even know."
Shanie sat there and didn't say anything and thought to herself Who names their kid Cray?
Meanwhile, three juniors were busy shoving food down their throats in the English hall - why in the English hall? No one truly knows. They were just standing there and talking with food in their mouths. "What timezone is this place?" one of them - the Carlaay chick - asked the other two. They both shrugged her shoulders. "What's the time anyways?"
"What am I? Your watch?" the one named Gummy - a nickname of course, who names their kid Gummy? - said.
Carlaay sighed and took a bite of the piece of cheese in her hand. "So, you know how most people are roommates with someone in the same grade as them?" she asked the other two.
"Yeah, sure whatever," Sky said, eating the broccoli she had.
"Well I'm rooming with a Sophomore? Isn't that like, weird?" she asked.
"Maybe they ran out of Juniors for you to room with and same goes for the Sophomore," Sky suggested, now eating some lettuce.
"I guess," Carlaay said, staring at the cheese in her hand. "Why am I eating cheese?"
"Because you're weird," Gummy said eating some steak with her hands. The worst part was she didn't even have any steak sauce to go with it! Poor child.
So basically that's the first day of the school year. Yeah, whatever. I guess some exciting shit will happen or something? I don't know! What am I? A fortune-teller? No!